Truth or Dare
by SinfulFlower
Summary: It was their choice to be childish that night. What better way to spend a sleepover, after all, than to play truth or dare? Oneshot, implied Kid X Liz, implied Patty X Crona, (sort of) implied Tsubaki X Black*Star. Complete randomness.


**A/N: This, my friends, is the result of not sleeping for two nights in a row. What you are about to read is 1,434 words, not including this author's note, (at least one of you just decided to or attempted to count 'em. Don't deny it) of randomness, implied shippings, complete and utter cracky nonsense, and six awkward silences in one fanfic. Have fun!**

* * *

"Maka, truth or dare?"

"Hm? Dare."

Soul glanced at the painting on Kid's wall for a moment. The shinigami's penalty, after captaining the losing team of the previous afternoon's basketball game, had been to invite everyone over to stay for the night. He hadn't really cared, though, just so long as no one ruined his symmetry.

"Ah, got it!" a smirk crossed Soul's face. "I dare you to kiss Kid!"

It didn't take long for the book Maka was holding to hit Soul upside the head. A look of disgust crossed the meister's face.

"No offense, Kid," she muttered, "but hell no. I am _not _kissing you."

"You...didn't have to hit me...Maka..."

"None taken." Kid replied calmly, ignoring Soul's whines of agony.

"Okay, my turn." Maka sighed. "Um, Black*Star. Truth, or-"

"Truth! A God does not accept dares!" The assassin butted in.

An awkward silence fell across the room for a moment before Make threw her book at Black*Star.

"Fine. Truth. Do you have a crush on anyone in this room?"

"Owww...hm? Hell yeah!"

For the second time that night, there was an uncomfortable silence. Nobody dared to speak, not that anyone could have succeeded in formulating a simple sentence. Tsubaki cleared her throat after a moment.

"Um...B-Black*Star, isn't it your turn now?"

"Huh?" Black*Star looked as though he hadn't thought about that until just now. "Oh, right! I guess it is...Kid!" he shouted, far too loudly, without any shame at all, "Have you ever masturbated?"

Kid hadn't known it was possible to choke on one's own spit. He somehow managed to do just that, though, and Soul had to slap him on the back several times until he succeeded in breathing again.

"E-excuse me?" he coughed, partially with indignation and partially in horror.

"You heard me." the guilty party still had the same idiotic grin, clearly proud of the fact that he practically caused Lord Death's son to have a heart attack-and usually only destroying the symmetry of Kid's house could have that effect.

"Oh, he has." Liz called lazily from the other side of the room. "I've walked in on him before. He's freaking _loud_!"

"L-LIZ, WHAT THE FUCK!?" Kid was mortified. "What did I ever do to you to deserve that...back-stabbing swine..."

"Ooh, Kid!" Soul shouted accusingly. "What, you couldn't find a date, so you had to settle for your right hand?"

"Actually," Liz corrected, "he uses both hands. Symmetry, remember?"

That resulted in the third awkward silence that night. Kid's head was buried in his hands, and after a while he muttered, "they're right. I'm filthy, and dirty, and disgusting. What kind of garbage am I? I'm a sick, pathetic bastard." Maka had returned to reading, and Patty was dozing off. Finally, Soul spoke.

"So...what? I mean, I know Kid's obsessed with symmetry, but...does it, like, turn him on or something?"

"Huh. An interesting theory, Soul. I don't think so, though. I mean, he wasn't moaning about symmetry or perfection, he was moaning-"

"SHUT UP, LIZ! What the hell do you want from me, woman!?" Kid was literally screaming, now, his face flushed a deep scarlet.

"Aww, Kid's so cute when he's embarrassed!" the noise had apparently woken Patty, because she was perched on the foot of Kid's bed, grinning a sadistic, Cheshire Cat grin.

"U-um..." Tsubaki was the only one to jump to Kid's defense. "He's a teenage boy, after all. Shouldn't we have been more concerned if he _hadn't _ever done..._that_?" and she motioned to Black*Star. She didn't speak, but it was obvious what the gesture meant.

"She's right." Maka still hadn't looked up from her book. "I know for a fact that Soul does it."

...needless to say, the silence that followed was awkward.

"So then." there went Soul and his big mouth again. "Who _were_ you thinking of, Kid? What was Liz about to say?"

"I-I already answered my question! You guys can't ask another."

"Actually..." Soul pointed out, "_Liz _answered your question. You just sat there looking like you wanted to die."

"It doesn't matter," Kid's voice came out in a low growl, "because she answered truthfully. Now," his voice returned to normal, "Patty, truth or dare?"

"Dare~!"

"Fine. Come here, Patty."

The blond scooted over, grinning. Kid leaned over and whispered something in her ear.

"Right!" she sang, turning and running down the hall to her room. She returned a moment later with a giraffe plushie in her hands, which, with a cry of "This is for scarring Kiddo-Kun, you jackass!", she hit Black*Star upside the head with.

Who would've guessed that a stuffed giraffe could knock someone out?

"My turn! Tsubaki, truth or dare?" Patty asked, as though nothing was wrong and she hadn't just KO'ed the girl's partner.

"Um...truth, I guess." Tsubaki replied after a moment.

"Okay then, have you ever had s-"

"No, Patty," Tsubaki sighed. She could tell what the pistol was going to ask before she even asked it. "I've never done that with Black*Star."

"Aww, really?" Patty sounded disappointed, "But you two'd be so _cute_ together!"

"...he's too dense." was all Black*Star's partner could say.

"Well...it's your turn now, Baki!"

"Oh...Liz, then, truth or dare?"

"Dare, I guess."

"I dare you to, wait, come over here, so I can whisper it."

Liz huffed in annoyance, but she did as she was told. Tsubaki leaned over and whispered something, which promoted a smirk from the brown-haired girl. She stood up and walked over to where Kid was leaning against the wall, kissed him-on the lips, no less, and her chest pressed against his-and returned to her spot on the bed.

"Huh, wait, wh-what the hell Liz why the fuck did you, oh, Ts-Tsubaki did you dare her to do that, why would you even-" he stammered out in one breath, only to break off abruptly as a drop of blood ran from his nose.

"Well," Tsubaki explained, "Maka wouldn't do it when Soul dared her to, so I wanted to see if Liz would...and she did." she ended with a soft giggle.

"Well then, my turn?" Liz asked. "Sis, back to you. Truth or dare?"

"Truth~!"

"Okay, then, if Crona asked you out, would you accept, or decline?" Crona and Patty had become close friends since the kishin's defeat. Not as close as Crona and Maka, but still close. The question was bound to come up eventually.

"Huh?" Patty asked with a laugh. "Crona's so nice! And cute, like a little fluffy bunny! He'd make a good boyfriend! Or girlfriend? Hehehehe, I have no idea. Is she a girl, or a boy? Crona's cute either way."

"...so you'd accept?" Liz inquired.

"Yep!"

"Even if Crona turns out to be a girl?"

"Yep!"

"...I thought I knew my sister..." Liz whispered with a shudder. "But I know next to nothing about her..."

"Okay~, I'm up again! Soul, truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"Are you a virgin?"

By now, the group must have set a world record for the number of awkward silences in one night. Even Maka had put her book down and was staring in shock at Party's smiling face.

"...dare." the scythe muttered finally.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"...we should...call it a night." Kid suggested. "It's late. I'd rather not have you all sleeping in 'til noon."

"Agreed." from Maka.

"Sounds good." from Liz.

Snoring from Patty. Nodding from Soul. A sigh from Tsubaki.

Slowly, the room emptied. Kid went downstairs to check on the house's symmetry. Tsubaki carried Black*Star to the room they were sharing. Patty had groggily, like a zombie, retired to bed. Maka had followed soon after, to make sure that Patty didn't pass out on her way down the hall.

Liz turned to leave, but she felt Soul's hand on her shoulder. Irritated, she turned around.

"What's up, Soul?"

"Well, what were you going to say?" Maka's weapon questioned. "What was Kid moaning?"

"Hm?" Liz hadn't been expecting that. "Oh, my name."

"..."

"..."

"HOLY SHIT, KID! THAT'S JUST SICK, MAN!"

There was very much awkwardness in the silence that followed.


End file.
